Ranking the 2017 Oscar Nominees

 
 

So for the 3rd year in a row I actually managed to squeeze in a viewing of every single film nominated for an Oscar (yes, Mom, even THE BOSS BABY). That would be 59 films in total and if you average that out over the 12 months since the earliest Oscar nominee hit theaters (Happy Birthday, GET OUT, you just turned 1 this weekend!) it's only about 5 movies a month. Of course, a year ago I didn't know to make sure that I caught FERDINAND, WONDER, and ROMAN J. ISRAEL, ESQ. in theaters. So I've been doing my usual cram-session and managed to hit my 59th movie with only hours to spare before the awards ceremony.

If you presume that each of the features averages out to about 120 minutes in length and each of the shorts is about 15, then total viewing time you're looking at roughly 92 hours of content-consumption. Why indulge in such a time-consuming, borderline-superfluous activity such as this? Well obviously it's so that I can have an opinion about every single film and put together an arbitrary, knee-jerk, subjective power ranking! Here is my definitive list of the 2017 Oscar nominated films ranked in order of quality, per my ever-so-humble opinions:

1.  DUNKIRK
2. LADYBIRD
3. COCO
4. THE FLORIDA PROJECT
5. PHANTOM THREAD
6. LOGAN
7.  FACES PLACES
8. CALL ME BY YOUR NAME
9. THE BIG SICK
10. THE SHAPE OF WATER
11. THE BREADWINNER
12. MOLLY'S GAME
13. GET OUT
14. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI
15. BLADE RUNNER 2049
16. THE POST
17. THE INSULT
18. DARKEST HOUR
19. THE ELEVEN O'CLOCK
20. NEGATIVE SPACE
21. LAST MEN IN ALEPPO
22. LOVING VINCENT
23. LOU
24. ICARUS
25. A FANTASTIC WOMAN
26. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY vol. 2
27. THE SQUARE
28. I, TONYA
29. STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI
30. WATU WOTE: ALL OF US
31. ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD
32. MUDBOUND
33. ON BODY AND SOUL
34. ABACUS: SMALL ENOUGH TO JAIL
35. HEROIN[E]
36. GARDEN PARTY
37. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
38. WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES
39. KNIFE SKILLS
40. DEAR BASKETBALL
41. THE DISASTER ARTIST
42. WONDER
43. STRONG ISLAND
44. BABY DRIVER
45. DEKALB ELEMENTARY
46. MARSHALL
47. HEAVEN IS A TRAFFIC JAM ON THE 405
48. LOVELESS
49. MY NEPHEW EMMETT
50. FERDINAND
51. THE BOSS BABY
52. THE GREATEST SHOWMAN
53. TRAFFIC STOP
54. KONG: SKULL ISLAND
55. REVOLTING RHYMES PART ONE
56. EDITH+EDDIE
57. THE SILENT CHILD
58. ROMAN J. ISRAEL, ESQ.
59. VICTORIA & ABDUL